it seems like my mind likes to be go go go

that is, i guess, its job - preparing, thinking.

but what happens when I go for so long & think so much

that there’s no gap…

no pause for presence to breathe.

what if life forced me to stop?

could I handle the quiet?

or will my mind keep racing, brick on the gas

cause I never learned how to pause & watch the view

no time for a detour, no space for a scenic route.

cause I was thinking too hard

about gettin there.

June 19

The harder that I work

the more tired that I am at the end of the day

the more rewarding the feeling.

I’m in my car right now driving home after a shoot outside in 112° on a golf course in Arizona

& I’m thinking about playing piano.

I hope one day I don’t have to spend all my time working so I can spend some time learning piano.

That’s what’s I love about life - we can do whatever we want & it’s all awesome.

It can be magical if you let it be.

The way I see it is - work super fucking hard for five years…(maybe 10)

then stabilize

after that have a more balanced approach.

Then I get to learn piano

then I get to make music.

but maybe thats the trap… thinking ill have time then versus just starting now…

“2025 Girls” 

Pretty, on the outside, inside: quiet.

doesn’t explore much

doesn’t have a curiosity for life

doesn’t appear to have a strong hunger for more

quickly becomes boring.

Looks amazing…

but beyond that

there’s no more pull.

Just still water that doesn’t ask me to swim deeper.

Lately I keep meeting people like that

quiet on the outside, but also quiet on the inside.

Am I crazy for thinking that there is a person out there that's like what I imagine?

am I crazy for choosing to wait to see and find out?

I don’t think I’m crazy.

I think I just want more.

The older I get, the more I realize two things:

1. Not everyone gets better with time — some get stuck.

2. Staying young has nothing to do with age.

i love to change myself.

i try to reinvent myself often.

i try to chase after the stuff that scares me.

i always want to stay curious & stay learning.

Attraction isn’t about chasing.

It’s about being.

Be the version of you that already has it.

Move different.

Think different.

Let it come to you.

Life feels a bit relentless right now - it's nonstop.

But you can't check out.

those that do put themselves out of the game.

if you even want the smallest chance have a good life you have to go so fucking hard in business.

But even then its not guaranteed.

Work these days feels like robot mode activated.

Screens, deadlines, more & more reels.

It feels so wrong

To work this much

I can turn off that “wrong” feeling

But deep inside I feel I wasn’t created for this “work”

Played chess tonight with someone v special

it felt like I could talk to her forever…

such a refreshing aura about her

Lol, she was wearing an aura ring

I just had so many questions

the more i think about her… the more i’m intrigued

She seems to be perfect in every way

I’m hesitant

Is she real?

Am I really

getting this opportunity

to be in front of angel right now ??

This begins: “The art of goin for a lady out of your league”