“What do you do for work, bro?”

‘oh, I’m a freelance videographer…& I model too…’

“Dangg…

No way man! That’s so sick.

That must be a pretty dope job, huh?”

When I tell people what I do, they always act like it’s the coolest job ever.

& I agree… it does sound cool

& it might even sounds like I have it all figured out.

but the truth is… its not that cool & I don’t have it figured out.

This last week I felt confused.

I had a chat with my parents about what is my “thing”

It seems like most successful people have that “thing” that they are good at

& they teach it to others. (Influencers dropping courses, teachers doin ted talks etc.)

But how did they find their thing?

& what did they do

before their “thing” ??

Like what was Dan Koe thinking & feeling before he started writing

or Alex Hormozi before gyms

or Abe Lincoln before he was president?

This thought popped into my head today.

something I knew… but had forgotten…

I love writing & making videos. I could do it all day every day.

If money was no object this is what I’d spend my time doing.

so I guess I have found my thing.

It just happens to be in the most over saturated, rapidly growing, ever changing industry known to mankind.

haha awesome.

freedom of choice - what a beautiful thing.

Now I’m noticing the power of framework. You can’t build without a foundation.

But those that create rules end up finding true freedom.

You gotta be broke before you understand the value of money.

You gotta be lonely before you can understand the gift of intimacy.

Three poems i wrote on Feb 14th - Valentines Day:

What’s family for?

I. can’t. tell.

To have your back when you’re walking through hell?

Tie me up & take your aim

shame & pain is the name of this game.

& I don’t wanna play it.

they say be extraordinary

then blame me for my differences

I would never do this to you

I love all your broken pieces.

where are my people?

The one’s who ache like me

Stitching themselves together

Yearning to be free

Numbing would be easy

Inhale, swallow, skin.

like everyone else

distraction after distraction.

maybe I’ll go to Bali

everyone seems free there

If I disappear

Would anybody care?

Why can’t you love me

I’ve told you how to do it—

I know you’re curious,

So touch me with your mind.

It’s like you don’t know how to try,

You’d rather let time slip by.

I’m so scared.

I've gone through some heavy emotions this month with my family.

Specifically with my parents. i feel more condemnation than before…

So…I blocked them on instagram.

.Seems like they can’t handle seeing my life without projecting shame on to me.

“We wanna talk about your last post…” they said

“… and how it hurt us…

If you want to continue our relationship then we must chat about this…

If not, then our relationship needs to change…”

Yeah… I was very shocked.

I don’t think much has changed with my posts…

I’ve been doing this stuff.

But the crazy part is…

I didn’t know…but my sisters were actually on my side

Yes, my parents are amazing, passionate, loving, caring individuals

But sometimes we don’t receive that from the things they say.

I kinda think they are hanging on to their dream for me

& their dream must die in order for mine to live.

Alex hormozi talks about how he was the most depressed when he Dad was the most proud of him.

So I blocked ‘em

& it’s kinda freeing…

I’m thinking back to 2 months ago - Christmas Day…

& how much has changed.

How different I feel

how pain doesn’t last forever

how change is so crucial for growth

how honesty w myself was a key factor

I do believe I’m attracting

not chasing

I’m peaceful

I’m healthy

I’m happy

I’m thankful for the spirit guiding me

& the awareness it brings

This feeling inspired this poem:

I promise—

it’s nearer than you realize,

worth every moment of waiting,

& beyond anything you’ve dreamed.

I was looking through my February writings today & I realize that at least half of my writing this month was in poems.

Here are some of my favs from this month

Feb Poems:

wandering through life is cute

but have you tried designing?

letting yourself feel the growing pain

and joy

at the same time,

without pretending

everything will fall into place

without you trying.

what if you’re not successful

because you’re not done yet.

because the documentary

is still in the writing phase.

what if you're not meant to be

anything less than a vessel

of endless creativity, wrapped in skin

dancing through moments.

what if keeping it in

is the accumulation

and letting it out is the dissipation?

what if the new you

is waiting for you to unlock

the cage where you keep yesterday’s pain?

what if you're not lost…

theres just no street lights—

what if the dark night,

was the shade you needed to rest.

what if you're not lost,

theres just no map for where you want to go…

what if every dead end,

was just god’s hand straightening your path.

ask me what turns me off the most

& I’ll say absence.

I’d kill myself if I wanted to hang with ghosts

but phantoms are boring

& presence is everything

so just be here with me

& drown me in your curiosity.

Maybe

there’s no difference between the

thoughts you think & the words you say

Poison is the devil’s cocktail

killing your soul first

While making you think

“I’m not drunk yet”

i want a love that doesn’t ask

but claims.

that doesn’t wait

but chases.

i want a love that doesn’t hold me down

but slings me through the cosmos

tearing through the fabric of nature

re-sewing my reality

burning away all my doubts

as we build a new world on the sun.

they told me time was made up

but I think that’s a lie…

I feel every second passing by.

ticking in my mind

louder & louder

screaming in my ear

prophecies that are unclear.

then you hold me

& the ticking stops,

so maybe time is made up…

cuz when I’m with you, it stops.

Unable—

or simply unaware?

Must I teach you to love me,

as a lioness trains her cubs to hunt,

or will it come on its own,

like a fledgling’s first flight—

plunging through open sky,

trusting its wings to catch the wind

before the earth rises to meet it?

I crave more love than I receive—

but how can a tree offer shade

when its branches are bare?

I stand naked, a warrior without armor,

fighting for you,

hoping you’ll trade my shield

for a blanket

& grant me the time to heal.

I believe in you

I know there’s depths to you—

handcuff us together

& let’s drown out the fear,

into a prison of weakness

on the ocean floor,

let’s stay there for a while

until there’s nothing left to ignore,

while we collect seashells of strength

& stack them up

until we can breathe again.

Which hurts more?

Being left behind, realizing you weren’t enough,

or walking away, knowing you’ll always yearn

for something they’ll never be able to give—

a sweetness that was never there to begin with.

There’s so much more…

but I’ll update you soon…

-Luke

P.S. I have a feeling March is gonna be a good one